Why Nervous System Safety Isn’t Optional in Divorce. It’s the Foundation (And Why My Integrative Approach Works)
Most people walk into divorce thinking the biggest hurdle is the legal strategy.
But after 27 years in this field, in courtrooms, hospitals, crisis teams, mediations, and living rooms where marriages quietly fall apart, I can tell you the truth:
Divorce isn’t just a legal process. It’s a physiological one.
Your nervous system goes through it long before the paperwork hits the clerk’s office.
And here’s the part no one tells you:
You cannot make sound legal, financial, or parenting decisions from a dysregulated body.
When your system is flooded, frightened, or frozen, your brain literally cannot access the parts required for clear thinking, communication, or long-term planning. This isn’t spiritual metaphor. It’s neuroscience.
This is why the traditional divorce world often fails people.
The system tries to apply logic to a body that is in survival mode.
I don’t do that.
I won’t do that.
My Method Starts in the Body
Whether I'm providing:
divorce mediation
collaborative law coaching
legal and somatic strategy sessions
or post-divorce support
we start with your body every single time.
Because before we talk numbers, parenting plans, or negotiation strategy, you need one thing:
Safety. Real safety. The kind you feel, not the kind you force.
This means:
locating where survival energy is living in your body
understanding the pattern it is running
regulating your system enough to think clearly and respond intentionally
widening your capacity to hold uncomfortable conversations without losing yourself
When your nervous system stabilizes, every choice becomes smarter.
Every communication becomes cleaner.
Every step becomes more aligned.
This is why the people who work with me walk away not just divorced, but different.
Why I Work This Way: 27 Years in the Trenches
This approach is not something I picked up in a weekend workshop.
It is the result of nearly three decades in the hardest corners of this work.
Since 1998, I have:
represented and protected survivors as a domestic violence attorney
facilitated divorce and restraining order proceedings
worked inside the largest healthcare system in New England
served on leadership teams introducing trauma-informed care
led one of the first on-scene Boston Trauma Response programs
overseen domestic and community violence response teams
directed a Department of Justice grant to build trauma-informed systems of care
I have stood with people in their most dangerous moments.
I have made decisions in the middle of chaos.
I have watched what happens when professionals show up regulated and when they do not.
And here is the deepest truth I learned:
If the professionals, the attorneys, the advocates, the mediators, the healers, are not safe in their own bodies, they cannot create safety for others.
That truth changed the trajectory of my career.
Why My Work Looks Different Now
I took everything I learned on the ground, the law, the trauma work, the crisis response, the leadership, and fused it with everything I have mastered over the past decade:
subconscious reprogramming
somatic coaching
nervous-system-based mediation
energy healing
Reiki
EFT tapping
breathwork
sound healing
yoga
Human Design and energetic self-attunement
And I built something I wish every divorcing person had access to:
An integrative, grounded, legal-and-somatic approach that treats the whole human, not just the legal problem.
Who I Work With
Not every couple is ready to work this way, and that is okay.
This is why I offer multiple entry points.
1. Integrative Divorce Mediation
For couples who want:
less conflict
more clarity
fair agreements
and a process that preserves emotional health and financial resources
2. Legal and Somatic Strategy Sessions for Individuals
For those who:
are not sure they are ready to leave
are contemplating options
are navigating a high-conflict or narcissistic partner
or are post-divorce but still holding trauma in their body
These sessions blend:
legal clarity
coaching
somatic regulation
strategic planning
One person can shift an entire system when they are stable enough to stay grounded.
3. Post-Divorce Healing and Integration
Because the body keeps the score after the paperwork is filed.
And you deserve more than “You are divorced now, good luck.”
Why People Choose Me
Because I have lived this from every angle:
the attorney, the advocate, the mediator, the healer, the divorced woman, the mother, the stepmother, the survivor, the leader building trauma-informed systems from the ground up.
I do not guess at this work. I embody it.
I know what it is like when your body says “danger” even when your mind tries to stay logical.
I know how to navigate conflict without losing your center.
I know how to create agreements that actually last because they are built from regulation, not reactivity.
And I know how to help you come home to yourself in the process.
This Is More Than Divorce Support. It Is a Nervous System Revolution
My mission is simple:
To help people move through divorce not from fear, but from self-trust.
Not from survival, but from sovereignty.
Not from chaos, but from clarity.
If you want a process that honors both your humanity and your future, this is the work.
If you want support that blends strategy and soul, this is the space.
If you want someone who sees the whole picture, legally, emotionally, somatically, energetically, you are in the right place.
Your safety is the foundation of everything.
And together, we build from there.
Contact me for a free consultation to see if working together is right for you.
